What “I'm new here and not very good with this app” usually means when a stranger opens with it
Other ways it's worded
- “I'm new to online dating”
- “I don't know how this app works”
- “I just created this account today”
- “I'm not very tech savvy”
- “This is my first time trying these apps”
What's actually being said
The 'new here' line is a soft excuse. It lowers expectations before you have a chance to form any. A sparse profile, stiff messages, and a reluctance to use the app's features can all be waved away with 'I'm just learning this.' It also invites you to be helpful, which builds a sense of partnership before there is one. In a scam script, the line is most useful when it leads to a request: 'Can we talk on WhatsApp instead? I don't understand this app.' That move is the point. Dating apps have reporting tools, photo verification, and a record of the conversation. Scammers want to leave those protections behind as quickly as possible. The 'new here' story makes that move feel like kindness rather than a red flag. A real new user may be awkward, but they still have a life you can verify: photos, a name that appears elsewhere, a job, friends, a willingness to learn.
The job this line is doing
Claiming inexperience is a low-risk way to explain almost anything. Bad English can be 'I'm still learning the language.' A missing video feature can be 'I don't know how to use it.' A push to leave the app can be 'This interface confuses me.' The story also triggers helpfulness. Many decent people will patiently explain how an app works, which creates a dynamic where the scammer is vulnerable and the target is protective. That dynamic makes later requests harder to refuse. Finally, the line helps scammers avoid account age checks. If a profile is brand new, suspicious matches might wonder why; 'I just joined today' answers the question before it is asked. Real people join apps every day, but they do not usually need to announce it.
The usual next moves
- 1A request to move to WhatsApp, Telegram, Google Chat or email because 'this app is confusing'
- 2A profile with no verifiable details, explained away as not knowing how to fill it out
- 3Refusals to use app video or photo features, blamed on technical confusion
- 4An accelerated emotional bond because you 'helped' them settle in
- 5A money or information request framed as the first time they have ever asked anyone online
The honest version of this
Lots of people really are new to online dating. They may have joined because a friend pushed them, because they are recently single, or because they are tired of meeting people in person. A genuine newcomer will be happy to stay on the app while they figure things out, will answer your questions, and will not use confusion as a reason to bypass safety features. They also tend to have a real-world footprint: a LinkedIn profile, an Instagram with history, or friends who can vouch for them. The difference is not the claim of being new; it is whether being new is used to keep you from checking anything.
What to say back
“No worries — we can keep it simple. What's something you're into outside of work?”
Why it works: It keeps the conversation on the app and asks for a specific personal detail, which a script struggles to fake convincingly.
“Happy to stay on here until you're used to it; it's safer while we're still strangers.”
Why it works: A real person understands safety. A script will push harder to move elsewhere because that is its main goal.
“If you're new, what made you try online dating now?”
Why it works: A genuine answer usually has a personal story. A script gives a vague reason that could apply to anyone.
Already replied, paid or shared something?
If you have already moved to another app or shared your number, you can still slow down. Do not send money or intimate photos, and ask for a video call. If the person refuses because they are 'new' or 'not technical,' treat that as a boundary worth respecting — yours. You can always return to the dating app or stop responding entirely. Newness is not a permanent condition, and it is not a reason to avoid verification.
Where you'll see it
- Hinge
- Tinder
- Bumble
- Match
- Facebook Dating
- Coffee Meets Bagel
- Telegram
Frequently asked questions
Related scam lines
“Hello dear, how are you doing today?”
CautionA greeting like this is not proof of anything. In many parts of the world 'dear' is simply polite, and plenty of real people open with a warm compliment. It becomes a warning sign when it is paired with a generic profile, no mention of anything you wrote, and a quick push to chat somewhere else or send money.
“Something told me to message you”
WatchThis is usually harmless flirtation, but it is also a classic script opener because it makes you feel chosen by fate rather than by a person who read your profile. It only becomes a problem when it is used to rush trust or brush off normal questions.
“Let's talk on WhatsApp instead”
CautionMoving to a normal messaging app is completely ordinary and most matches do it eventually. The signal is not the move itself — it's the speed and the pressure. A request to switch within the first few messages, before you know anything about each other, is the single most common first step in a scripted conversation.
“My camera is broken”
CautionA broken camera is an ordinary thing that happens to ordinary people. It becomes a real problem when it is the third different reason in a row that you still haven't seen the person you've been talking to for weeks. Judge the pattern, not the excuse.
“I'm rarely on this app, text me on Telegram”
CautionPlenty of people genuinely prefer Telegram or another messaging app. The caution is when the request comes before you've actually talked, or when the person treats staying on the dating app as a personal rejection. That's a script trying to move you somewhere less monitored.
“What's your full name so I can add you on Facebook?”
WatchSharing your full name can let someone find your social profiles, workplace, family members and other personal details. That information is the raw material for impersonation, social engineering and targeted scams. Keep early dating details limited.
“Are you the owner of this beautiful smile?”
CautionOverly flattering, generic openers are often copy-pasted by scammers to many targets at once. One cheesy line is not proof of a scam, but it is a reason to proceed slowly and watch for scripted patterns.
Keep reading
Suss explains common patterns in online dating messages. It is not a background check, not legal or financial advice, and a single line is never proof that someone is lying. Use it as one signal among several.