What “Hello dear, how are you doing today?” usually means when a stranger opens with it

Reading the line

The word 'dear' is doing a lot of work in a very short message. From a stranger, it invents closeness that does not exist yet. In a dating context, people usually use names, or at least refer to something specific from a profile, before they reach for pet names. When the opener is a generic endearment plus a broad question, it often means the same line has been copied and pasted to dozens of profiles. That does not make the sender a scammer on its own, but it does mean you are probably reading a script rather than a personal introduction. The real question is what happens next. If the follow-up messages are equally generic, if your name never appears, and if the conversation pivots quickly to WhatsApp or Telegram, the greeting was the first filter in a long con. Scammers use endearments because they are free, they work across languages, and they test whether you will accept affection from someone you have never met.

What it does for the sender

Romance scammers need to run many conversations at once, so every message must be cheap to send and emotionally effective. 'Hello dear' is the perfect opener: it sounds warm, it is gender-neutral, it is easy to translate, and it requires no knowledge of the person on the other end. It also screens for responsiveness. Someone who ignores the pet name is less likely to send money later; someone who replies warmly is signaling that they are open to fast intimacy. Endearments also create a subtle sunk cost. Once you have accepted 'dear,' the next emotional escalations feel less strange — 'baby,' 'my love,' 'my wife' — because the first boundary was already crossed. The scammer is not romancing you; they are warming up a lead, and the temperature rises according to a schedule, not according to feelings.

Where the conversation tends to go

1. 1A quick move to WhatsApp, Telegram or email 'because I don't check this app often'
2. 2Daily compliments and check-ins that feel caring but never reference your actual life
3. 3A request for photos, personal details, or your phone number
4. 4A manufactured crisis that needs money, introduced as 'something I hate to ask you, dear'
5. 5Pressure to keep the relationship secret or off the app where you met

When there's nothing wrong with it

In many varieties of English, especially in South Asian, West African, Caribbean and older British usage, 'dear' is a normal, respectful term of address. Someone using it may simply be a non-native speaker translating politeness from their own language. A genuine person will also notice if you gently ask to be called by your name, and they will answer questions about themselves with specifics. Look for the rest of the picture: a filled-out profile, photos that match across platforms, a willingness to video call, and a conversation that moves at a human pace. The line itself is only a signal when it is part of a larger pattern of avoidance. If someone calls you dear and also cannot tell you what city they are in, what they do, or why they messaged you specifically, you are not being rude by slowing down.

Replies that keep you safe

Already replied, paid or shared something?

If you have already replied to this opener, you have not done anything wrong. Plenty of real relationships start with an awkward first message. The key is to reset the pace. Start asking specific questions and expect specific answers. Do not share personal information, intimate photos, or money, no matter how warm the conversation feels. If the other person becomes pushy, defensive, or love-bombs you within days, treat that as the real red flag and step back. You can always block, report, and move on without owing anyone an explanation.

Suss explains common patterns in online dating messages. It is not a background check, not legal or financial advice, and a single line is never proof that someone is lying. Use it as one signal among several.