“What's your address? I want to send you flowers”: harmless question or data grab?
Other ways it's worded
- “I want to send you a gift, what's your address?”
- “Can I mail you something special?”
- “I'm sending a surprise, I just need your address”
- “Let me order food to your house”
- “Send me your location so I can pick you up”
What's actually being said
Asking for your home address early in a conversation moves the relationship from digital to physical before you have any reason to trust the person. A home address is not just a place; it is a key that unlocks a lot of other information. With it, someone can find property records, household members, your full name, and sometimes your workplace. They can also use it to receive packages bought with stolen credit cards, turning you into an unwitting reshipping mule. The flower or gift story makes the request feel romantic and generous, so refusing can seem paranoid or rude. But your address is one of the pieces of information that is hard to take back once it is shared. Even if the person has no criminal intent, sharing a home address too early removes a layer of safety and can lead to unwanted visits, harassment, or worse if the connection sours.
The job this line is doing
An address is valuable on its own and it opens doors to other crimes. Scammers may want it to send you a package that is actually part of a reshipping scheme, so the trail of stolen goods leads to your door instead of theirs. They may use it to look up your family members, your property value, or your employer. They may combine it with your full name and birthdate to answer security questions or apply for credit. The romantic framing also tests whether you will ignore boundaries for someone who has been charming. If you say yes to your address, you are more likely to say yes to a loan, a gift-card request, or a money transfer later. The request is often timed right after a few days of compliments, so it feels like the natural next step in a budding relationship.
The usual next moves
- 1You receive unexpected packages that you are asked to forward elsewhere
- 2The person shows up at your home uninvited or sends others
- 3Your address is used to impersonate you or answer security questions
- 4You are doxxed or harassed if you later refuse a request
- 5The address becomes the anchor for a reshipping or identity-theft scheme
The honest version of this
After you have met someone in person and built trust, exchanging addresses for gifts or visits is normal. In early online dating, a genuine romantic interest will accept a public meeting place and will not pressure you for your home address. They can send a digital gift card, choose a delivery to a workplace only if you offer it, or simply wait until you are comfortable. The difference is whether no feels like a reasonable answer.
What to say back
“I don't share my home address with people I haven't met in person.”
Why it works: It is a clear, universal safety boundary that needs no explanation.
“If we meet and get to know each other, we can exchange addresses later.”
Why it works: It delays the request without being hostile.
“A public coffee is a better next step than a delivery to my house.”
Why it works: It redirects the relationship toward safe, in-person verification.
Already replied, paid or shared something?
If you already shared your address, do not panic, but take precautions. Do not accept packages you did not order, and do not forward anything. Consider informing your building manager or a neighbor that you are not expecting deliveries from new contacts. If the person becomes pushy, threatening, or shows up uninvited, contact local law enforcement. You can also report the profile to the platform and document the messages.
Where you'll see it
- Hinge
- Tinder
- Bumble
- Match
- Telegram
Frequently asked questions
Related scam lines
“Can you receive a package for me?”
High riskThis is a reshipping or money-mule setup. Accepting a package for someone you have not met can make you part of mail fraud, receipt of stolen goods, or even drug trafficking. The safest answer is no, no matter how believable the reason sounds.
“Verify you're real by clicking this link”
High riskThis is almost always a phishing or fake verification scam. The link leads to a site built to steal your login credentials, payment information, or to install malware. Real identity checks on dating apps happen inside the app, not through a link sent by a stranger.
“What's your full name so I can add you on Facebook?”
WatchSharing your full name can let someone find your social profiles, workplace, family members and other personal details. That information is the raw material for impersonation, social engineering and targeted scams. Keep early dating details limited.
“I just moved here for work”
WatchThis is a common and often true story, which is exactly why scammers use it. It explains away the lack of local connections, frequent travel and vague details. Treat it as a watch signal when paired with refusals to video chat, meet, or answer specifics.
“Hello dear, how are you doing today?”
CautionA greeting like this is not proof of anything. In many parts of the world 'dear' is simply polite, and plenty of real people open with a warm compliment. It becomes a warning sign when it is paired with a generic profile, no mention of anything you wrote, and a quick push to chat somewhere else or send money.
Keep reading
Suss explains common patterns in online dating messages. It is not a background check, not legal or financial advice, and a single line is never proof that someone is lying. Use it as one signal among several.