“Let's wait until we meet, it'll be more special”: the excuse that keeps the camera off
Other ways it's worded
- “I want to see your face for the first time in person”
- “Video calls ruin the magic, let's save it”
- “I'd rather our first look be real”
- “I'm old-fashioned about these things”
- “It will mean more if we wait”
What's actually being said
This is one of the harder excuses to resist because it sounds like good old-fashioned romance. Who doesn't want the first look to be special? Who wants to spoil chemistry with a grainy video call? But in practice, it asks you to commit emotionally and sometimes financially to someone whose appearance, voice, and basic identity you have not confirmed. The script uses romance as a shield: if you ask for a video call, you're impatient, you're ruining the magic, you don't trust the process. That framing can make you feel like the uncool one for wanting something as ordinary as proof the person exists. A real person who wants something old-fashioned will still understand that online safety matters, and they'll be willing to meet you halfway — perhaps a short call with cameras off first, or a verified photo, or a phone call before a trip.
The job this line is doing
It delays the one moment that ends most scams: being seen live. A fake profile can survive indefinitely in text and photos, but a video call where you ask them to turn around, hold up an object, or say your name is much harder to fake. By framing video as unromantic, the scammer turns a practical safety step into a betrayal of the relationship's specialness. It also builds anticipation for a meeting that may never happen. The 'wait until we meet' line often pairs with plans to visit soon, which keeps hope high and excuses any current lack of proof. If the meeting gets postponed — work, family, money, illness — the romantic framing makes the disappointment feel like bad luck rather than a warning sign. The goal is to keep you invested in a future event while giving you nothing verifiable in the present.
The usual next moves
- 1A plan to meet that is always a few weeks away and keeps shifting
- 2Excuses for why a video call would 'ruin' what you have
- 3Pressure to keep chatting and deepening feelings without visual confirmation
- 4A request for money to make the visit happen: travel, visa, emergency
- 5The meeting eventually cancelled with a dramatic reason that requires your support
The honest version of this
Some people really are old-fashioned, camera-shy, or genuinely want an in-person first impression. The honest version of this preference comes with alternatives: a phone call, a verified photo, meeting in a public place with a friend nearby, and no pressure to travel far for the first date. A real person will understand why 'let's wait' sounds risky to someone you've met online and will work with you to find a balance. The red flag is when the romantic framing is used to forbid any verification at all, or when the person gets hurt or pushy when you ask for a small step toward knowing them. Romance shouldn't require blindness.
What to say back
“I love the idea of a special first meeting, but I still need to see you live once before I invest. It can be brief and low-key.”
Why it works: It separates romance from safety and asks for a minimum viable verification.
“How about a voice call first, then a quick video when you're comfortable? I'm not trying to rush the magic.”
Why it works: It offers a graduated path. A genuine person usually appreciates the compromise; a script needs the wall to stay up.
“If we're going to meet, I want to confirm you're real first. Otherwise I'm not travelling or sending anything.”
Why it works: It sets a hard boundary around any future investment, including money or travel.
Already replied, paid or shared something?
If you've been waiting for weeks or months and have sent money for a visit, visa, or emergency, stop sending and treat the situation as unverified until you have a live call and proof of travel. Contact your bank to ask about chargebacks or recalls, report to ic3.gov and reportfraud.ftc.gov, and report the profile on the app. Keep screenshots of every promise, every excuse, and every payment. If you are being threatened with shared intimate images, do not pay and read the Suss sextortion guide. Waiting for a meeting is fine; waiting while sending money is not. Real romance survives a video call.
Where you'll see it
- Hinge
- Tinder
- Bumble
- Match
- Telegram
Frequently asked questions
Related scam lines
“My camera is broken”
CautionA broken camera is an ordinary thing that happens to ordinary people. It becomes a real problem when it is the third different reason in a row that you still haven't seen the person you've been talking to for weeks. Judge the pattern, not the excuse.
“The internet here is too bad for video”
CautionBad internet is one of the most believable excuses in the world. It becomes a warning sign when it is permanent, convenient, and paired with no alternative way to show you who you're talking to. A real person will find a workaround eventually; a script never runs out of reasons.
“I'm rarely on this app, text me on Telegram”
CautionPlenty of people genuinely prefer Telegram or another messaging app. The caution is when the request comes before you've actually talked, or when the person treats staying on the dating app as a personal rejection. That's a script trying to move you somewhere less monitored.
“I've never felt this way before”
WatchIntense early connection can be real, but 'I've never felt this way before' is also a classic love-bombing line. It creates emotional debt fast, making it harder to ask the ordinary questions you should ask before meeting someone.
“My account is frozen”
High riskThis is the hinge of most romance scams: the moment a warm relationship acquires a money problem. Frozen accounts do happen in real life, but a frozen account belonging to someone you have never met in person, which arrives just as you're getting attached, is a request for money wearing a disguise.
Keep reading
Suss explains common patterns in online dating messages. It is not a background check, not legal or financial advice, and a single line is never proof that someone is lying. Use it as one signal among several.